At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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