So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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