just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
