yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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