when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
