I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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