3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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