your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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