thus making me awesome and them whores
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
