How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you will always have a special place in my vag
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
