Apparently you make a good broom.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is Oprah even human
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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