allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
