no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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