Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So many bounce houses so little time
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
