He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
its liver damage thursday
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