So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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