I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
