drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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