I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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