i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
