Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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