i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
