just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
