i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize