weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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