The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Who died my cat blue again?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
