a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize