she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
