Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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