How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
