yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Your cock deserves a montage
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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