You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
