are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
