Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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