I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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