i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
