is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
