She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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