i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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