your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
