I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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