So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
