Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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