I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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