Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
