that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
