dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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