Your dad touched me again.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize