i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
