i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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