I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
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I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
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