Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
