my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
