i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
