My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize