I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
