i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
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the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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