Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
