Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
