I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
