As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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