I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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