1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
420 ftw
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
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Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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