So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
