sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize