if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
