I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
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I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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